Gratitude in the Mist of Disappointment or Loss

Are you going through a time of disappointment or grief? Maybe you are experiencing the loss of a loved one, a lost dream, a defeat or another kind of setback. All these can bring grief and sadness. Sorrow can both crush us under its heavy weight and consume us to obscure our vision. Furthermore, we find ourselves aware of our loss or losses, only to focus on what or who we have lost. Returning to normal life seems impossible while our thoughts and feelings deny us.

Grief from loss of any kind and gratitude appear to be opposites. How do we see beyond grief to be grateful? Gratitude and thankfulness rarely rise to the surface in our time to sorrow. However, despite not feeling grateful, we can make a conscious decision to look for one interaction, one event, or one observation for which we can be grateful. Finding one notice and silently thanking God for it can give us hope and, in addition, thanking can aid in healing.

Grief and gratitude seem opposite

“Pray diligently. Stay alert, with your eyes wide open in gratitude,” Colossians 4:2 MSG. This verse reminds us to pray and to pray with gratitude. Some days, you may feel stretched to find something for which to be grateful, but we might hear a bird singing, finish a task long overdue, have a warm cup of coffee, talk to a friend or receive a hug. Being aware of small things brings a new view of our circumstances-unexpected change comes within us.

Eyes Wide Open

Moreover, gratitude can actually be an antidote to feelings of hopelessness. An antidote to despair comes as we look for signs of God working in the everyday events. We can find blessings amid the sadness when we take time to express gratitude, taken from A Liturgy of Grief; A pastoral Commentary on Lamentations by Leslie C. Allen.                        

God is working in everyday events

A personal story from a favorite author of mine, Ann Voskamp, tells of her struggles with multiple losses. In her book One Thousand Gifts; A Dare to Live Fully Right Where You Are, she describes the challenge she gave herself to list gifts in her life. As she became aware of small gifts during her day, she wrote them down.  A habit developed.  When she noticed and wrote down the gift, her mood and perspective changed. The Gratitude Journal she wrote in provided a way to reflect and review. Voskamp relates how the seed of gratitude creates a miracle.

“And when I give thanks for the seemingly microscopic, I make a place for God to grow within me.…. Gratitude for the seemingly insignificant—a seed—this plants the giant miracle.”-Ann Voskamp.

Seed of gratitude

 I have made a habit of listing five things each day. My thoughts are drawn to the little gifts God puts in my life and I notice my perspective changing. I am becoming more positive.

Start a list of seemingly microscopic things in your life, little gifts, for which you are grateful.

A miracle in our heart happens

Here is a prayer of gratitude:

Dear gracious and good God,

We want to be aware of the gifts in the everyday moments and learn to thank you. Even when we don’t feel like being thankful, help us express our thankfulness to you. When our feelings betray us and circumstances look discouraging, help us be grateful for the gifts around us.
Amen