Winter Season of the Soul

Do you ever feel a letdown after Christmas? I experienced a letdown after all the festivities this year. Maybe I wearied from social activities and doing too much. Before the holiday, I packed each day in December with tasks. Then, when Christmas week came, I squeezed in more activities – visiting with family and friends, entertaining, cooking and, of course, eating. After the event filled days passed, physical and emotional exhaustion ensued. The disarray and the mess in my house overwhelmed me.

Where to begin?

In the middle of the fatigue, something else happened. I remembered the loved ones who were not at the table this year. Twinges of melancholy moved over me. Awareness of losses followed the season of brightly lit Christmas trees, the smells of pine needles and the yummy sugar cookies. Sorrow seemed very poignant after the holidays. Memories flooded my mind.

I am ashamed of my sad feelings when my life holds many wonderful people and gifts. Some consider the start of a new calendar year to be an occasion for a fresh beginnings, for their expectation and hope push aside the events of the previous twelve months.

For me, January carries gloom; my mood parallels the gray skies of the winter months. These feelings lingers as the clouds linger, obscuring the sun. Removal of colorful holiday lights and the bare trees amplify the bleak scenery outside. I reflect on my life and remember loved ones who have passed. Also, I dwell on lost dreams, non-death losses.

Loss seems more real in winter

Why can’t the sun come out? Why do I have a difficult time seeing the goodness of God? I long to be lighthearted instead of heavyhearted. Influenced by discouragement, disappointment and disorganization my attitude becomes negative.

As winter is a season, so we experience emotional seasons. Our emotions cycle – joy, sadness, anger, fear. They ebb and flow like the ocean tides. We weather different periods in our emotional lives. Times of reflection enable us to reevaluate our priorities, but those times are not comfortable.

Likewise, Jesus underwent a time of sorrow in the garden of Gethsemane. In the late hours of the night, Jesus agonized in deep prayer. We envision our Savior kneeling in extreme anguish over what remained ahead of him, his arrest and crucifixion.

I am comforted in knowing that Jesus wrestled in prayer in the garden.

Jesus wrestled with sorrow

The word Gethsemane means pressing as in pressing olives. However, we can use the word Gethsemane as a metaphor to refer to an occasion of mental or physical suffering. We all go through our particular Gethsemane, a season of suffering. Our sadness overshadows us; trials overwhelm us.

A dear friend of mine, Cheryl, battled cancer for years, dealing with chemotherapies, pills, losing hair  and multiple doctor appointments. She watched her disease-free peers with envy, while asking “Why me?” Working through her thoughts, she came to the conclusion that everyone goes through their own time of suffering, wrestling and questioning whether it is chronic pain, death of a child, an estranged relative, divorce, disabilities or other painful circumstances. Cheryl often said to me, “Everyone has their own Gethsemane”. Over time, my friend came to a place of peace about her illness and she also realized most people encounter a place or occasion of hardship, unique to them.

When I am tempted to compare my situation with others, I remind myself of her words, “Everyone has their own Gethsemane.”

Everyone has their own Gethsemane

Jesus prayed in the garden of Gethsemane, holding on to anticipation of the finish line–our redemption. Jesus looked forward, never losing sight of the salvation found in the cross. (Hebrews 12:2)

Looking to the finish line

In those times of suffering, cry out to God for help. Allow God to lift you up and carry you through your Gethsemane.  Look ahead to the finish line. 

 In my distress I cried out to the Lord;
    I called to my God for help.
God heard my voice from his temple;
    I called to him for help,
    and my call reached his ears. Psalm 18:6 CEB

Our prayers and sometimes cries for relief, comfort, and strength vibrates through the heavens. The God of the universe, who is faithful, hears our appeal for aid.

In my distress, I cried out to the Lord

An author and speaker, Cherie Denna, relates her own sorrow when she writes. “Despite loneliness, fear, weakness, or weariness, determined trust can endure. It will recall the things God has done, which will shift our perspective Godward in anticipation of His mercy and grace. We can know He will never leave or forsake us.”

As we shift our direction Godward and to the  undeserved blessings we have, our perspective changes. We gain hope, which is an expectation of the goodness of the One who loves us.

Are you in a winter season of the soul? Are you carrying a burden, dealing with a chronic illness or grieving the death of a loved one?

God is aware of your suffering and promises never to abandon you. 

 “God didn’t promise days without pain, laughter without sorrow, or sun without rain, but He promised strength for the day, comfort for the tears, and light for the way,” Anonymous.

God is aware of your suffering and promises never to abandon you. 

Prayer:
Compassionate God,

We remember Jesus in the garden and how you strengthened him. Strengthen us when days seem dark and when our losses seem more poignant. In those days, we call out to you to lift us up. Carry us through our difficulties, giving us grace. Thank you for the promise never to leave us.

Amen

I would like to hear your comments about your winter of the soul.

I’d be grateful if you shared this with your friends.