Unwelcomed Gift

Unwelcomed Gift

            Did you receive any unexpected gifts this Christmas that you did not appreciate? Do you have a trait you wish you didn’t possess? I did. Let me tell you my story.

As an avid reader, I devour almost anything in print, except computer programing manuals. However, reading has not always been fun for me. I barely passed first grade and from second to sixth grade, I endured being in the lowest reading group.

Because I struggled to pick up reading, I experienced both shame and inadequacy. I wondered, “How did my classmates decipher the code?” Reading seemed like a mystery that remained beyond my reach, envying those who knew the code. Words learned by remembering how they looked, sight words, were the most difficult for me; each time I looked at them, they looked differently. I mixed up words like come and come. Besides reading, I fell behind in spelling and writing. It seemed it took three times the effort to do pencil-and-paper classwork or homework. In other subjects like math and social studies, I shone, but words puzzled me. I feared words as if they would bite me.

Struggled learning to read

When it was my turn to read out loud in class, my stomach twisted into knots for fear of missing a word or confusing a word. Mortified and embarrassed, I was determined to cover up my poor reading ability by avoiding reading out loud as much as possible.

By third grade, motivation to read helped me conquer words. I checked out biographies, which were my favorite. My aunt gave me chapter books about girl adventures and mysteries. In the safety of my home, I consumed stories and arduously learned to unlock the words. Later, in middle school, I started reading the Bible, which piqued my interest. Both my ability and comprehension gained momentum. In middle and high school, I excelled in most subjects, but still lacked confidence in reading and in myself.

Words puzzled me

            Fast forward to when my oldest son strived to learn. I did research and discovered the term learning disabilities for the first time. After I studied different learning difficulties, a light flashed in my head. I said to myself, “I have learning disabilities. That is what makes reading hard for me. That is why I can’t remember my left from right.” With understanding came a sense of validation. Relief washed over me like a cleansing shower after a long day. (As a note, the term learning disabilities has now changed to the term learning differences.)

            I realized I had a dyslexia. My brain used an alternative pattern of processing that affected the way I viewed words and sorted out information, causing me to work hard to overcome literacy problems. Being dyslexic also affected how I picked up social cues and processed oral language. Lack of self-esteem came from floundering in reading. For some, having dyslexia leads to emotional trauma, especially when peers and teachers humiliate them for inadequate reading skills.

Alternative pattern of processing

“One in five children who cross the school threshold everyday have dyslexia, diagnosed or not. The organization Celebrate Dyslexia reports, “Dyslexia also does not discriminate by gender, class or creed.” It is a general term for disorders that involve difficulty learning to read or interpret words, letters, and other symbols, but those disorders do not affect general intelligence.

    Despite my struggles in decoding words, I discovered other talents, such as creativity. Because I am wired differently; I observe the world from a unique vantage point. It took time to appreciate this unwelcome gift of dyslexia. My creative gifts spill into several of areas, including practical hands-on skills, teaching and divergent thinking. Because of having dyslexia, I gained an ability to focus and to persevere. Another byproduct of this difficulty is compassion for those who feel deficient or discouraged.

Perseverance

            When I consider my childhood learning disability or the unwelcome gift of a learning difference, I see other strengths. I gravitated to caring professions. I became a teacher and later an advocate for people with disabilities. Then I became a chaplain. My different wiring is an asset in both working with people and seeing a unique angel in a situation.

Many innovators/inventors who changed the way we live had dyslexia, such as Albert Einstein, Thomas Edison, the Wright brothers, Alexander Graham Bell, Steve Jobs and Nikola Tesla. A professor from Montana State University, Jeffrey Conger, who has dyslexia himself, states, “Being dyslexic is an invisible strength. It is like having a pair of X-ray glasses that allows one to see the universe in a new way. Through research of mapping the brain, we now know that dyslexia fosters many advantages.” In the book Dyslexic Advantage: Unlocking the Hidden Potential of the Dyslexic Brain, authors Fernette and Brock Eide cite the specialties people with dyslexic bring to the world. They call dyslexia an incredible gift in areas of spatial awareness and big-picture processing. Interesting, many professional writers are dyslexic.

Many innovators/inventories

I would not choose dyslexia and it challenged me, but I have uncovered advantages in having a brain that works differently.

^“For God has not given us a spirit of fear and timidity, but of power, love, and self-discipline.”(2 Timothy 1:7 NLT).

Did you ever receive an unwanted gift? Is there a trait that you possess you wished you did not own? Maybe inside that unwelcome gift or trait is something useful or something unique. Can you take that unusual aptitude, look at it with a different perspective? After examination, you may discover an asset or a gem. What is your unwelcomed gift?

What is your unwelcomed gift?

Check out a story of when I received an Unexpected Gift from a patient.

This blog comes from a different perspective, but I hope you can relate or know someone who can relate.  

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CharleenBurghardt.com